


Wrong Choice

by thegreatficmaster



Series: Supernatural Collection [62]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 21:15:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20216392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatficmaster/pseuds/thegreatficmaster
Summary: Y/n discovers Castiel has been back in contact with the Winchesters, which doesn’t make him too happy.





	Wrong Choice

“Cas? Castiel! Where the hell are you?”

Y/n looked around their small little apartment, looking for his now de-angeled angel.

“Cas! Where are you? I’m gonna go back out. Apparently _someone_ forgot to buy the groceries”.

He got no reply once again, going further into their apartment, Castiel nowhere to be found.

Y/n wondered where the angel could’ve gone.

He had a job at the gas station, but he wasn’t in today.

He had no friends, y/n being the only person he had in the world.

The Winchesters?

No. Y/n didn’t think they’d be the ones.

Dean had kicked him out when Cas came back, completely human now. 

Y/n of course objected, but Dean refused to back down.

Y/n had no idea how Dean could do that. 

Cas was the one who helped them through everything, always there no matter what.

So, of course, it was easy for him to choose to leave with the ex-angel and take care of him, knowing he’d need help.

He rang Cas, hoping he’d answer the phone, but of course, he didn’t.

He went out, checking the gas station and anywhere nearby that he might have gone, but y/n just couldn’t find him.

So he sat at home for the next few hours, waiting until Cas walked in through the door.

“Where the hell have you been?”

“I’m sorry. I had…things to do”.

Y/n furrowed his eyebrows.

“Like what?”

Castiel said nothing, just staring at the floor.

“Cas. Tell me!”

“I-I helped Dean. On a hunt”.

Y/n’s eyes widened, anger growing inside him.

“Dean? Dean fucking Winchester!? You helped him? You’ve seen him?”

Cas nodded, explaining the case and how he needed to help Dean against the angels, the Rit Zein.

Y/n held back, not wanting to take his anger out on the new human.

He was pissed that Dean thought he could come and drag Cas back into all of his shit, even after he kicked him out when he needed a home.

“Fine. But I swear, Cas. You better not tell him where we live. I don’t want him anywhere near us again!”

He nodded, promising y/n that he wouldn’t get in touch with either of the brothers again.

Of course, that promise was broken fairly quickly.

Castiel was called to help the brothers and somehow ended up in some sort of danger.

He found he was able to steal another angel’s grace, regaining some of his power and allowing him some sort of function as an angel.

He found out about the angel possessing Sam, knowing he needed to help them.

He felt awful about leaving y/n behind at home, going to the brothers when he knew y/n would be pissed.

But he needed to help them.

They put their plan into motion, getting Crowley to possess Sam in an effort to cast out the angel from Sam’s body.

Unfortunately for Castiel, y/n had a feeling he’d been in touch with the brothers again and followed them.

“What the fuck is this?”

Dean and Cas turned their heads, seeing y/n walking towards them, jaw clenched and his knuckles white.

“Y-y/n”.

“You told me no more Winchesters, Cas. Why the hell are you here? And what’s with the clothes?”

“Y/n, listen dude…”

Y/n held his hand up, not even looking at the Winchester beside him.

“Cas, come on. Let’s go”.

He grabbed his boyfriend’s hand and turned to drag him out, but he didn’t budge.

“Cas! Seriously. We’re going”.

“I’m sorry, y/n. I can’t. They need my help”.

Y/n held on dearly to the single strand of self-restraint he had.

“With what?” he gritted out.

“Sam’s-uh-kinda possessed. We need to get the angel out”.

Y/n looked at Dean, the man shrinking under his glare.

“Let me ask you something. Who let this angel take possession in the first place?”

Dean looked down, y/n chuckling.

“Fucking thought so. You know, Dean, I’m so sick of you. You and your fucking brother”.

“What?”

“You fucking heard me. You might be the Winchesters, but that doesn’t mean you’re better than every single person. The entire world doesn’t bow down to you. Honestly I’m sick of you treating Cas like some fucking dog._ ‘Come here. Do this. Do that’_. He’s a damn angel. Respect people for the first time in your life. You destroy the world time after time, cos you’re so fucking clingy and can’t live without your brother, when you’re almost in your mid-thirties. You don’t care for anyone or anything. You think you save people, but guess what, Dean. You don’t. If it wasn’t for you being all pathetic, you wouldn’t have broken the first seal, Cas wouldn’t have had to come down from heaven. Lucifer wouldn’t have been released. The Leviathans wouldn’t have been released. The angels wouldn’t have been cast out either. Everything that has happened is all your fault. And you have the nerve to think you can order everyone about, like your Mr Big Hunter on the block cos you ‘saved the world’ a few times? No. I’m sick of it”.

Dean just stood in shock, not expecting any of this to come from y/n.

He’d been with them before Cas.

He was there when Dean made the deal. 

Sure, he was pissed. And during the whole apocalypse, he was fuming that this was happening. 

But this was something he never expected. 

He always thought y/n was on their side, that he understood what they were doing was because they thought it was best.

“No. You don’t know what it’s like, y/n. You don’t know how difficult it was to make those choices. But I had to”. 

“NO! You fucking didn’t have to, Dean. Sam could’ve died and you could’ve grieved and moved on like everyone else in the world, but you didn’t. Hell, my parents died. My friends died. Demons killed them all. But you don’t see me making a deal and causing the apocalypse. But you did. You wanna know why? Cos daddy was so fucking obsessed with finding out what killed mommy, that he seemed to have brainwashed you both into thinking you’re the saviours of the world". 

Dean clenched his jaw, about to interrupt, but y/n kept going.

“But you just start things. Over and over. And I’ve watched for too long. You just-you use people. Both of you. You use people for your own needs, then once you’re done, they’re cast aside and never thought of again. Where the fuck are Jo, Ellen and Ash? Where’s Bobby? Dead. Cos they had to protect the two of you. What happened to fucking Lisa and her child? Almost died. Because they knew you”.

“DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE BRING THEM UP!” Dean yelled, his face red, anger coursing through his body. 

“WHY THE FUCK NOT? HUH? What-you miss the woman you loved? Huh? Is that it? Cos you can go fuck yourself, Dean. You dragged me back after Sam came back, but do you think I really forgot? You think I forgot that you left me alone in that motel room, to go play happy families with her? Do you know how that felt? I lost a brother, I lost the man I loved. And the only person I had left was you! And you still left me”.

Dean felt that stab of guilt, hating himself for abandoning y/n like that.

“Then you think we’re all good? Cos you came back and blessed me with your presence. Your friendship. No. Fuck your friendship. Fuck your needs. You have Crowley in there doing who the hell knows what, Cas here helping you. But I can guarantee, when it comes down to it, you’d trade their lives in a heartbeat if it meant your brother. You might think that’s acceptable. But it’s not”.

His voice began quieting down, talking more gently and sorrowfully.

“The things you do, Dean. You’re worse than the monsters we hunt. At least they know they’re evil. They know they kill people for fun and own up to it. But you. You and Sam. You cause deaths. So many deaths, all for each other. And it’s not fair. My brother died protecting you. So many people died because of Lucifer and Leviathans. But you caused it all. You and Sam are the ones who started everything. Why can’t you see that?”

Y/n was crying towards the end of it, his voice soft and broken. 

He truly loved Dean and Sam. But he just couldn’t do it anymore.

He couldn’t watch their cycle of self-destruction and sacrifice, all for each other.

It wasn’t healthy, and each time they saved each other, they put the rest of the world at risk. 

It just wasn’t fair.

“I-I’m sorry. I really am. I never meant for your brother to die. He just-I-I didn’t see the ghoul. If I could change that, I would. You know I would”.

“But that’s not the worst thing though, Dean. You kicked Cas out because…what-that angel told you to? Cas was the one with you the entire time. He’s the one who saved you from hell. But even that hasn’t earned your loyalty. You still chose someone else over him, purely because of Sam. And I just-I can’t stick around anymore. Ever since you left Lisa and Sam came back, I’ve been terrified. Terrified you’d leave me again. And I was right. Sam left me for that dog lady. You and Cas were gone. Bobby just died. And once again, I was alone. I can’t do it anymore. Why do you think I’ve been staying behind on hunts and prefer to do the research?”

“I-I don’t-I don’t know”, Dean choked out.

“It’s cos I’m so scared. Scared that we might get captured and then you’ll have to make a choice. And I’m going to be the one who dies. I’m going to be the one who gets left behind and you and Sam walk away. So I just can’t be around you anymore. You’ve both broken me too many times. I’m not going to let it happen again”.

He sniffled, turning around and looking to his boyfriend, just wanting to leave now.

“Let’s go home, Cas”.

Cas looked away from y/n, not wanting to break his heart even more.

“I-I’m staying”.

Y/n sighed, already having had a feeling that Cas would’ve said that. 

“Well, I’ll stay till you’re done. Then we go home”. 

“No. I’m staying with them. I have to. I need to protect them. I need to fix this”.

“You’re-you’re leaving me? You too? Please, Cas. Don’t. Don’t do this. Don’t make me be alone. I don’t have anyone else. I just have you. I’m begging you, come back with me. We can-we can live a normal life. We don’t have to do this anymore”.

Y/n began sobbing, begging his angel to come back home with him.

But Cas put his hands up, about to touch y/n’s head and send him back home.

** _“No! Don’t! You can’t! Please!”_ **

But the angel didn’t listen, using the stolen grace to send y/n back.

Y/n drove back, but by the time he got there, they were gone.

“Shit! What the hell is happening?”

The three men rushed into the vampire nest, already hearing a commotion.

“Is that y/n?”

They watched as he fought of vampires for a few seconds, before jumping into the fight, knowing he couldn’t do this on his own.

Dean sliced through the vampires heads, Sam doing the same as Cas burnt their vessels.

“Dean!”

Cas turned to look, seeing Dean slamming his head against the wall and slumping against it, the blood flowing out.

“Cas!”

Y/n’s choked screech made the angel turn to him, y/n falling to the floor as Sam killed the vampire that had just almost completely drained y/n.

He looked between the two men. The man he had promised to protect. Or the man he loved with all his heart.

Looking at Dean, he was white as a sheet, pale and his eyes closing.

He quickly made his way to Dean, pushing his grace into him to heal his wounds.

Y/n watched, a few tears slipping out as Sam held him, watching as Castiel once again chose the Winchesters over him.

Castiel ran over to y/n, getting down onto his knees as he placed his hand on y/n’s cheek, pushing his grace to heal him as well.

But nothing happened.

“No! Not now. Please, not now”.

Castiel realised he had just used all his grace on healing Dean and now didn’t have enough to save y/n.

“Please, Father. Help me. Just this once, I need you”.

Cas felt his vessel’s face get wet with his own tears, begging for his love to not be taken from him.

“Cas. D-do something!”

Dean couldn’t lose y/n either.

He was his brother. 

His best friend. 

He was one of the few Dean actually opened up to, the one he could go to when he didn’t want to be judged.

“I-I can’t. I don’t have enough grace”.

Dean felt his tears running, Cas taking y/n into his arms as he held his body close, missing the warmth he gave him after all these months apart.

“I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I’m so sorry”.

Y/n looked up, his vision blurred from his tears.

“It’s always them. I understand now. I forgive you, Castiel. I-I love you”.

Cas watched as y/n took his last breaths, leaving the world and his angel, his body cold and empty now.

“Y-you should’ve chosen h-him. You should’ve saved him”, Dean stuttered out.

Cas didn’t say anything, just sitting there as he held y/n, closing his eyes and trying to remember the smile that would paint on y/n’s face each time he saw the angel. 

Each time he was kissed.

Each time Castiel told y/n he loved him.

The smile he would never have the chance to see again. 


End file.
